The unromantic Lola ...

        My last post was actually written during the past month, but I never posted.  I really did not know what direction to go with it.   It made me sound slightly pessimistic,which I guess I am at times.  In fact, I know many people in the SL world with very successful online relationships. Even the unromantic Lola is currently in one.

        I know I can feel the "eyes rolls" as you read that last statement. Yes, even I have caught the SL "love bug".  No, we did not have a big fancy wedding with wedding videos.  (Ok, I found a Las Vegas wedding chapel for fun...We got married by Elvis)  We didn't have an elaborate collar ceremony with me kneeling at his feet as tears fell from my eyes.       
We just became "we".  (This is actually true..we debated on an anniversary date because we just happened)
       Am I an expert in relationships....not even close.  I just know what has worked for us. Quite honestly from a realistic stand point, we should not have worked as long as we did. We both live on separate coasts.  He is married to his rl job and as I remind him, I am merely his "mistress".  In the end, we just make it work.  So sometimes we argue (We don't talk about last year's Superbowl) and sometimes, one of us falls asleep but the most important thing, we try.  We both realize we have a RL and things that take priority, but nothing puts a smile on my face more than a little im from him at work.  I like reminding him that lunch at his desk is not always a healthy option in the long term.  I like to think we just take it one day at a time..1825 + days so far. 

Love me for forever...or until you are bored?

    The Second Life experience can be very much a "second life" or even a "first life" for many people that log into SL daily.  One of those aspects is relationships.  What I noticed in SL is that people are either trying to establish one or avoiding one.  I have read several profiles of members that are in relationships on SL.  How can you tell?  Oh.... here are Lola's observations:

1. Several pictures of them together
2. Many..many youtube links of  "their songs"
3. Romantic poetry,either written by SL member or copied from someone.
4. Group ownership so they can write "cutesy" tags as "Lola's Love Muffin"                                      

     Partnerships in SL can be simple or complex.  It all depends on the way a person perceives SL.  I read once that an average relationship on SL lasts 6 months. It is a long standing joke that within the month of partnering, they will be done.  Weddings in SL can be as expensive as RL ones.  (check out Youtube for SL wedding videos...I am not joking...).  I have been to gay weddings, threesome weddings and of course, the traditional ones,  I have heard some incredible vows and some that made me laugh. Out of all those weddings, none of them survived longer than a month afterwards. 

     So what about me?  I think I am a very down to earth.  I have a few people call me cold hearted and aloof.  I think I am just realistic.  I do not believe that you can fall in love with a person at first sight or even two weeks later.  In my world, that is called LUST.

                    Lust: 

     1.  intense sexual desire or appetite.          

    2.  uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

    3.  a passionate or overmastering desire or craving.

       

     If you look at my handy, dandy definition courtesy of dictionary.com, it seems like a temporary condition.  Yet, so many people on SL rush to write poetry and look for their "song" on youtube to post in their profile.  So when this phase runs this course, what happens next?  Does the relationship become an "open relationship"?  (That is code for my partner doesn't come on anymore or has an alt so that she/he doesn't have to talk to me).  Should we just assume in SL a relationship is just something two people do until you are bored?