Since you've you been gone.....

  I feel like I can breathe again....Kelly, you are singing what is in my soul.  I am rediscovering how much fun I used to have in SL again.  Of course, I had to lick some wounds and now I have screwed up trust issues.  (Yes, I will admit that one but really what normal person doesn't on SL?) We did have a good laugh because the new girl looks exactly like me.  (Well, we knows he does have a type)

BUT

    I am having fun again.  The old Lola is back again.  She runs around naked...She shops for genitalia.. (don't ask) She learns to work an open collar...Men flirt with me and I do too.. I dance on poles...I pinch guys' asses...

                 

                                The things you are suppose to do on SL

                                                            Yes, I said it.  

   SL should not be filled with restrictions;it should not be like real life.  What is the point of logging on just to live your RL in here?  I am not criticizing people who like to have a rl fantasy life in here. You want the kids and your prefect dog.  You do that and enjoy every minute of it.  Everyone should just live your SL to the fullest.  This also means helping people enjoy their SL lives too.  SL is filled with those twisted individuals that are not truly happy in life.  If these people try to take your joy of what this world has to offer, you need to get rid of them.  You should embrace those people  who accept you for your quirky humor and love of fuzzy rabbits.  They should love your ability to put any song lyric into a serious conversation.  "Lovely ... Never, never change ..Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you...Just the way you look tonight...."
   I have one amazing person in my life now.  We have known each other for ALMOST 4 years.  (We both can't believe its gone so fast)  He has probably been one of the greatest support systems I have had on here in those years.  He has yet to try to change me because he may love my vast knowledge of musical lyrics in my head.  He even lets me pinch his ass.  


 

       

                                     

I became a SL stereotype....

      So there has been a lot of changes in my SL life recently.  My breasts don't fit mesh tops anymore.  (designers..not everyone is jumping on the mesh body trend.  I would like to have breasts that don't choke me.)  I still dislike mesh hair but I did cave in and bought the mesh hands.

     The biggest change in my SL life is that my partner of 7.5 years decided to leave me.  (RL years not SL)  He went on a business trip and told me he would be back for me.  He landed, contacted me like he always did, then no word for two weeks.  Then he proceeds to come back and announce to me he was leaving SL for a RL relationship he was involved with.  I got hit with no warning.  We always talked about what would happen if something like this would be a possibility. I was angry with him because it was a sucker punch to the gut on my end.  I got "we can be friends" speech but when I questioned him about the whole situation, he twisted my words around.  He blamed me for not wanting to be friends since I was being so unreasonable.  He said good bye and said I am sorry and just left.  You would think after 7.5 years, I would get a little more.  *shakes my head*

     If I would believe his story the way he spun it, this guy worked almost every night until 8 pm and got on to SL to see me.  He was on a business trip for the past three weeks before he left SL.  How the hell did he date in RL?   Lets just say I never believed everything he said to me but he also told me so much truth too.  He was a confusing person to figure out.  He would tell me stories that wouldn't make sense to any time frame.  He claimed he was 5 years younger than me but the only picture I ever saw of him was one with a tux and a ruffled shirt under it.  (Lets  just say, I don't recall any of my proms with men with ruffled tux shirts).  He ever knew any of my high school references to things popular then.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I thought maybe there was a reason he wasn't sharing his RL age with me.

      He talked about his childhood, his family and just little details about his life.  I knew his RL name, what he did for a living and even where he worked.  About three years ago, I was planning a vacation to his area and thought maybe meet up for lunch.  Just lunch and nothing else.  I mean I was talking to a guy for four years, I thought why not see.  So before I asked, I did the old SL standby...I googled him.  That is when I realized the whole truth about him.  Poor guy, since he talked so much about his RL with me, I was able to verify what I found was the truth.  I mean, he told me everything.  How do I know he wasn't lying to me about his life?  I realized all the pieces just fell into place.

       So why didn't I just end it.  I am not sure really how to answer that question.  After that, I always had doubts in my head about things he said to me.  I guess I will always that person that will always save that animal in the shelter, help the child look for his lost mother, or feed the wild cats in my neighborhood.  Everyone comes on SL with something broken in their life, even me.  I think I just thought he needed me for something.  He once told me that I am the only one that he felt cared about him.  I always saw that insecurity in him even though he tried to play that "dom" role on SL.

    So after I left one night, I just did a SL search on his name.  Well, something interesting came up.  He had a group hidden from me for three years.  It appears within a year of being with me, he already had an alt and playing games behind my back.  Really?  I always gave this man options on SL.  I even stated many times if you just want to play this as a game, I can adapt.  He told me at one point he had issues with his RL girlfriend (*cough..cough...WIFE), I would bow out quietly so he could fix issues with her.  If he wanted to play a poly relationship on SL, I was alright with that too.   Every time he would just argue with me about those things. The first year we argued and he decided to end it with me.  I moved on and he BEGGED me back.  Yet, this guy was running around in an alt, doing those things I said we could do openly.  He wanted to do this but I couldn't do the same.  I guess the best part was finding out he had a girl with his alt for three years.  Sadly she probably knew about me also.  I watch him come on early for her and he signs off at the time he would sign on to be with me.  So, he was burning both ends of the candle.  Sadly, the guy never learned the rules of Alts.  You should never use the same look (reused a freebie skin and shape..sadly my avi looked better than the one she got)  He was in the same exact groups as his main one.  The amazing part was she became his after I was questioning him about things.   I guess intelligence scared him.

        So I hope you ( Rhett Grantham or Jameselan Alsop) feel victory in this game.  You convinced me you actually cared about me, you got to treat me like garbage, and have another woman on the side.  I bet you already convinced her (if she didn't know about me) what a crazy woman I am.  In the end, you have lost and don't even realize it.  I know the real person behind that computer screen and he is an ugly person.  He is one that manipulates, lies ,and cheats because he doesn't have the ability to get anything good in his life  unless he does those things.  Your insecurity shines through even when you tried to play that "dom" role.  I don't hate you because that would mean that I still care.  You do not have to worry about that anymore.  Since you left, all my friends stepped up to be with me.  I even had friends I haven't talked to in ages contact me because they were thinking about me.  They were all welcomed back with open arms and we talked like we never missed any years.  Sadly, you will never be welcomed back.  You lost a person that truly cared about you and your happiness.  Now, honestly, (Insane will hit me for this) I hope you rot in the hell you created for yourself.